Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
Is there a "Plan B" app for my iphone?
chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
It's Saturday night and I'm getting shitfaced alone while reading Dino porn. Wassssuuuupppp
Yeah, I got home from work at like 9:30, and he was passed out on the couch wearing only a tee shirt and The Jurassic Park theme on repeat.
Dude... the time we have in life to be young and trivial is so incredibly short. I think we should drink tonight.
I no longer have the means to support both a women and an alcohol addiction
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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