I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Went to anytime fitness at 3:34 am drunk after the the bar and getting whataburger. Lifted weights with my cheeseburger between my knees. That's called DEDICATION.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Remember when you tried to talk but you could only count by 2s?
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
So I came to the conclusion that who ever pour my ever clear out saved my life
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
Randomize
