I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
I don't think requesting him as a BBM contact is proper protocol following vomming in his bed.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
We were in the middle of fucking and she was just like "Do ya wanna play Harry Potter Scene It?" I musta been really bad lol Anyways, her tattoo healed nicely.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I just want to trick people into going on dates with me so they can bring back to their houses and let me use their wifi.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Maybe for you. You don't have to clean the melted butter off the stove. I LOST THE SPECIAL SEASONINGS.
Randomize
