why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
Just peed in a urinal with another girl. It's that kind of night.
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
I can get stoned and we can bake and then I can eat 70% of it and it will be awesome
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
We are the best cocktail. We look appealing, taste amazing, and ruin lives.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
