Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
