U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I wonder why dictionaries dont have indexes to help find the words easier.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I just told the sun to stop. That hungover.
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
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