I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
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