Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
you fell asleep during kickboxing this morning
how does that even happen??
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
I finally looked at the pictures from last night thanks for feeding me and pulling my pants up
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Next Halloween, remind me to find a different wingman. Walking out in your pirate costume talking like Captain Ahab while i was banging her and telling me I had to harpoon the white whale really pissed her off.
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
