I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
You kept running up to random groups of people and saying "I'm a Dallas Cowboy Cheerleader so we all have to chug our drinks!" and they all listened to you.
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
ok so i got home drunk and was cleaning my kitchen and i was shaking out the throw rug and dropped it out the window, i'm sorry
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
