i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
Some mysterious chinese delivery man dropped off 2 free egg rolls. Clutch
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
