I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
Well fuck that. I mean, I made out with my cousin once. Who gives a fuck.
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
Randomize
