when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
WHY DIDN'T ANYON E TELL ME SHE WAS SIXTEEN
10 dollar pizza all the toppings you want. Wait Until You See This Pizza
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Last night: Repeatedly yelled about how the fishbowl tasted like blue, stole a stranger's hat, hugged the DJ for playing my request, made out with my roommate, and abandoned the guy I dragged to the club in the first place
This morning: Hat doesn't fit, hangover headache is blue, and I can't move without getting lightheaded
Listen when they tell you not to drink after giving blood
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
