Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
My breasts were aching with rage.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
