Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Best friends brother. Beat that.
I made a google map for "places I got blow jobs"
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
I'm really going to need you to stop yelling Campari.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
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