i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Dude I just saw a beer truck w taps in the side... It's like god heard my prayers and sent me a gift from heaven
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
If I ever write a memoir I'm thinking "Choosing to sit in a vat of shit" would fit
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
