Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
the party we crashed was not a party. the party we crashed was jens grandads funeral.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I was in a penguin suit. Dick out. I am confident in the value of my pic.
also I was promised more toga parties by popular media
I have like three friends I don't have sex with, what did you expect
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
Randomize
