No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
Her grandmother had a handicap stair lift. I just put her drunk ass on it and let her ride it up. Thank God for broken hips.
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
I legitimately thought he died. I even called his mom at 3am and told her. Im done with vodka.
RESIST THE DICK
thats like telling me to resist drinking water. impossible.
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