If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
Just a heads up: The party is Fourth of July themed. Spread the word
dude its may
Work with me here, man.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
It was as if you forgot how to speak normally. All of your words came out either backwards or in song form
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize