He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
I'm always impressed by your drunken ability to quickly gauge how long it's been since you've shaved and whether or not your prospective hook up will care.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
I think it's safe to say taking shots on the way to the emergency room was rock bottom. We're going to need to think of ways to top that between now and next new years eve...
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
