We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
I'm not gonna get my cat high anymore because what if he has a heart attack. I don't want to be responsible for that shit
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
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