They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He kept calling my vagina a magic clam, and it was speaking to him, telling him to feed it his penis. I played along.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Eating a chocolate bar and crying over a cobweb. Life is beautiful and I love shrooms.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
