Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
We should see who can shotgun a beer faster over iPhone FaceTime
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Just wore the promise ring dad gave me freshman year of high school as a fake wedding band while I bought a pregnancy test. I think it's safe to say that's not what he had in mind with that gift 14 years ago.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
Randomize
