my number is 615-555-1212, <3 your favorite asshole
Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
why are there goldfish crackers all over my bed?
you decided you wanted to name them & keep them as pets.
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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