If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Oh you know just explaining sexual consent to a drunk 80 year old man. How is this my life?
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
