ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I will give everyone a free pointer today. Here it goes, always pee by the house late at night to avoid getting shot by drunk bastards with guns. Never go by the tree line.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
I just got promised sex at a fire station tonight so basically all my porn star dreams are coming true.
That chick keeps sending eggplant emojis
Welcome to dating in the digital age. Better catch up now that you’re divorced
and eggplant is code for penis. It means she’s DTF. Go get her tiger!!!
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