Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
