I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
Randomize
