I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The bubbles in my bathtub are singing to me in german....
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
I spent last night dying strippers pubes green and landscaping shamrocks. That is why hands look like I squashed a leprechaun.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
Randomize
