And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
I just did something so unspeakable in the panera bathroom that their health score dropped 10 points.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
Ugh... The hoe gods giveth and the hoe gods taketh away.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
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