what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize
