ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
We're too hungover to prance.
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
