I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
