let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
you gave me money for the cab and then walked home..
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
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