Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I threw up a lot of peanut butter last night.
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
