just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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