Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
It was fine. Until I accidentally shit on his floor.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Randomize
