So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
too bad you can't see the clap by looking at her face.
she is a standing ovation.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
your brother just told me that Guinness is the first book of the Bible...
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
He was handing out home-made business cards that read "finger slamming bitches since 1986"\n
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
The adults are the big ones right?
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
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