I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
My Tinder date from last night is my Uber driver for tonight's Tinder date...neither of us said a word.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Randomize