Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
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