When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
But why is there no point in liking him? Does he have herpes? Is he married? Is he gay? Did he get his penis chopped off in a freak accident? If the answer is no to all of the above, then he is fair game
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I will also take that commission in the form of weed. Pass that on to the asst. manager.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
Getting robbed by hookers is def a right of passage in a mans life
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
