small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
I'm at work, still drunk. Can you turn on the radio? If the station goes off the air I passed out. Can't get fired. Haven't slept yet.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
Um I just overheard that the new guy spent a month in jail. Obvi another great hire.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
Just got hit on by a middle-aged puerto-rican clown who told me that it would be bad to date someone who offers to buy me coffee and makes something of themselves. I love the NY subway.
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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