Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
I'm mentally preparing myself to hang out with him by staring into the mirror saying "thou shalt not get naked" over and over.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
Pretty sure the guy I hooked up with Saturday gave me a buy one get one free coupon for chipotle. Who said nice guys don't exist?
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
Nice. Ask if they watched saved by the bell. yes=legal. No=jailbait
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
Randomize
