Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
My dermatologist just asked me, "what happened here?" referring to the bruising on my nipples. I told her I walked into a door. Thanks for that awkward moment.
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
