And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You got into a heated argument about Frankenstein's intelligence while double fisting burritos from taco bell.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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