I've been at work for less than an hour and have pooped twice already. That's what happens when you start sleeping with your roommate and don't want to use the bathroom at home anymore.
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
I'm sitting at the bar eating dinner next to a nerd, a guy in a 10 gallon hat, and a policeman. I feel like I joined The Village People
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Randomize
