Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Randomize
