just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
A+ Viking dick
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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