you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
this may or may not be the weed talking, but this is by far the best tasting toothpaste i've ever had
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Currently shopping online for cardboard cutouts of various horror characters. That should teach me roommates to stop taking acid on Tuesdays.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
The way I see it, there's 2 types of friends. Those you should do drugs with, and those you really,really shouldn't.
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
