Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Dude. I'm no longer allowed to use my sword when drinking. I just spent 20 min cleaning up popcorn. I stabbed Moe in the leg and chopped his door knob off
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
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