I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
Which is scary since we both think with our vaginas
Its 6am and I'm sitting on the couch watching Clifford. Crying into my risotto because emily elizabeth helped the girl in the wheelchair get over her stagefright so she can win a trophy. Never drinking alone again.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
A dude I dated in high school just put a status about National Coming Out day. I checked his relationship status. He is dating a dude. Hello, Friday.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm like a bad decision making factory. I need to sit down and have a chat with my decision making elves.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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