Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize