just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize