Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
I asked a lamppost to be my valentine. Also: I'm wearing a sombrero. We need more sombrero in our lives.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
Randomize
