Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Right now, I'm sitting in my room, drinking beer, eating double stuff Oreos, taking bites straight from a block of cheese, and watching Anchor Man 2 trailers. Finals week at its finest
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Last time I was your wingman I had to deal with a girl whose only interest in my body was to clip my toenails. I'm not interested.
Like I'm getting finger banged and my family is making cookies in the kitchen. Talk about terrifying
I stole $10 from the guy I hooked up with last night.Not sure why but it was definitely more satisfying.
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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