conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
She told me I was starting to look like a mermaid with herpes and I needed to stop it.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
Randomize
