Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
He also needs to focus on not being such a little bitch, but that's none of my business.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Randomize
