Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
pro-tip: weed infused snickerdoodles are far less conspicuous to eat at work than brownies. no one ever suspects the snickerdoodle.
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
I guess there's no delicate way to say "I'm 90% sure I sucked his dick in the bathroom of the bar."
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
Someone needs to get Mark off the roof. I told you that he doesn’t shut up about ancient Egypt if you give him henny.
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
