Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Randomize
