You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
YOU GOT KINKY WEIRD ICE CREAM HEAD ON FRIDAY DONT EVEN COMPLAIN.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
I think I swiped left on my soulmate
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I guess when the asshole said “I really miss you and want to get back together” he actually meant “I’m banging a Hooters girl behind your back.”
I hope she gives him gonorhea
Randomize
