So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
He just told me his cousin just died and I look like her. Reconsidering the sex.
Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
