so my mom just told me that she wouldnt pick me up and take us to taco bell at 3AM...
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
just so you know... i was wasted last night, but the evening is coming back to me in flashes... i made you eat gravy last night, didn't i?
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
He said he was going to "rock my world". I wonder if he too has a false sense of confidence and accomplishment stemming from a complete lack of honesty from our own female counterparts.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I don't know if this whole sobriety thing is going to work out... It's only been 3 days and I want to chug vodka
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Randomize
