The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
We talked about all of the sex positions that would better allow him to feed me grapes. I think I'm in love.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
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