you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
So I made him an imaginary sandwich and told him that the day I didn't have to fake it, neither would he.
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
I literally farted midsex as a siren for him to get the fuck off me.. No such luck.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
Hypothetically speaking - is it bad if you get cut off at an airport bar at 11:30am?
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
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