I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
haha I love it when I find out that girls who were mean to me in middle school are now some random dude's baby mama. thanks, facebook.
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
My brother just woke up to see me on te couch dipping hamburger buns into pizza sauce. I'm beginning to question the life choices that led to this moment.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
