At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
I'm going to have to call in sick tomorrow. After this weekend, there's no way I can handle hearing the accountants talk about double entry without puking.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I'm watching sex and the city with my wine and Wendy's. I'm not sure if this is single woman empowerment or not.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
To be honest, I'm more surprised when you're not high at this point
Randomize
