I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
MANIFESTATION IS REAL AND IM GETTING LAID TONIGHT
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
Randomize
