Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
He came over while I was in the ER and hung pictures of himself around my house.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
okay i am so sorry that i pulled a knife on you last night but seriously that woman knows how to throw a party.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
You shouted, "LOOK I'M HAWKEYE," and beaned mike with a dildo from across the room.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
Tell him to put up or shut up. Can't be dangling dick in front of ho's without delivering.
It's just disrespectful
Apparently I thanked the paramedics over and over again for saving the "happy new year" beads that I was wearing
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
