woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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